A Time For Change,LLC
Feb 16, 2019
Two final things, my health was suffering for a period of months and I was not sleeping or eating. I told my wife that I thought I was going to have a heart attack or stroke and I felt like she did not believe me. I was so compromised and thought I was literally losing my mind, so I did not go because I trust my wife and at the time I did not trust myself anymore. Long story short, we ended up in the ER with leads hooked up to my chest and a BP of 200/142! I was living in fear and I was AFRAID!!!!!! Afraid to face the facts that I was letting myself die. That day I said F it all!! No more living in fear!
The truth of it is I am still learning, and I feel as humans learning is an important part of our personal growth and discovery about ourselves and the Universe we live in. The last issue, Valentines Day, yes I fully well know it just passed. I have been on this planet for somewhere around 17000 days, and I allowed these 25 Valentines days to have a negative impact on my life based upon my own negative self talk. I would go into fits for weeks before this day and it would carry on weeks after it was gone! What was I telling myself, you might be asking yourselves right now?? That's right, negative BS self talk and OUTRIGHT lies!!!! The truth is I never felt worthy of anyones love, which is sad. I have finally found a woman to share it all with. The good, the bad, and the UGLY!! For many years I never felt worthy of her love, trust, and respect. This woman has stuck with me through all kinds of BS I will not share most of out of respect for her. I am truly blessed to have found that one in a million person some of us go searching through our ENTIRE LIVES and NEVER FIND!!! This one day gets NO MORE of my power or attention! I have learned to live in today while focused on tomorrow and isn't that the trick?
The narrative HAS TO CHANGE if you want to be free of it forever. Whether you think you can't or you absolutely KNOW you can, guess what?? YOU ARE RIGHT! The human brain is an all powerful machine capable of taking us to any level of happiness or success we wish to achieve. The trick is, WE HAVE TO MAKE THE COMITTMENT and be HONEST first!! Every single friend, girfriend, bully, asshole, cop, doctor, or anyone else in my life was put there to give me my WHY??? The why is the key, do what makes you happy and I swear you will never truly work another day in your life! REAL TALK!!!
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