A Time For Change,LLC

Joseph Breen, Lifecoach 



    Communicating With Your Spouse

    When something bothers you in your relationship, don't let it fester and grow power. Fear of hurting another persons' feelings is important, that fear can help you to stay outside of yourself and avoid an argument by hopefully being able to have a respectful conversation that you gave some real thought to before speaking.
    How do I help myself and my Spouse?
    Hint - Shying away from it doesn't help. You then run the risk of feeling resentful when you haven't even heard the other side of the story. Communication is key anywhere but especially in a relationship. This is the person who you bleed, sweat, and cried for...right? So if you have this conversation have it for the right reasons, which is because you love them and they are special to you. Because you want to progress yourself to being a better version of yourself. Because both you and your spouse deserve the best parts of each other. Not 100% all the time because you need to recharge too, but be present and in the moment when you are together. Always be thinking about the person you want to become, not the person you were. We like to tell stories as a way of understanding our world. When you come home and your houseplant is lying on the floor with dirt all over you immediately begin to try and piece together a story about what happened without knowing anything. Was it the cat? Did someone break in? Did my kids do it? As we investigate and find information we often seek out the data that supports the story we have already created sometimes disregarding valuable clues when it doesn't fit with our story. This happens in our daily lives with everything we do and being concious of it is vital to good communcation. Don't assume things about your spouse's behavior or activities without being open to hearing all the facts. If you make a story that isn't true and confront your spouse with this, it creates negativity and suspicion that can drive you apart. Open your mind and make sure your story is flexible and open to change.
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